Attempting to Start Blogging Again..

Okay, so today is a sappy, sentimental day. All it takes is a sad song to get me dwelling on the fact that my babies are growing up. Today's song of choice is "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift. If you are a mommy and haven't heard this one you must run to iTunes and download it now!! My girls are growing up, and the simple fact of the matter is there are so many things about their childhood I have already forgotten. I'm kicking myself right now (and yes my legs are plenty long to do so) that I haven't been better about blogging or scrapbooking the simple little memories of life. I know they may never care about all the minute details, but they are my babies and I always will. So, starting today I'm going to try to be better about writing down more of the sweet little things my babies do and say...even if I am the only one who will ever read it :)

What kind of techie monsters are we creating???

Addie was having an absolute meltdown while we were trying to zoom through Kroger tonight on a quick shopping trip. This meltdown was merited by the fact that we had been in church for a total of 5 hrs today, she had no nap, and it was 8:30 at night. I found myself giving her my iPhone to console her. There is an app on there called Moo Box (designed for toddlers...shows pics of animals and you touch it to hear the animal sound) that she loves. Well she got tired of that quick so we moved on to the "Dress Chicka" app.

(Side-note: I am quiet impressed with how well a two-year old can navigate this iPhone. Got to hand it to Apple, they really did make this user-friendly enough that a toddler could use it :)

Well Chicka made her happy for about a minute so then we switch to Caillou on YouTube...until she starts screaming, "No mommy! Tay Swift mommy! I want Taylor Swift!" So in the middle of checkout I find myself having a conversation with my two (going on 10 year-old) that goes something like this, "Okay honey. If you will sit down in the cart I will find you some Taylor Swift on the iPhone. Just sit down & I will look it up on YouTube. YouTube isn't loading right now for some reason. I'm sorry. Mommy will keep trying.........(screams continue.]"

I have to imagine that anyone within earshot was looking at me like I was crazy. She is a toddler for goodness sakes...she shouldn't even know who Taylor Swift is for one, but the fact that she already knows the iPhone is capable of producing Taylor Swift anytime she wants is crazy as well. And, equally as crazy to many folks is the fact that I would actually let a two-year old play with an iPhone/listen to Taylor Swift obsessively in the middle of a grocery store. I have to admit that even I think I am crazy.

It amazes me how our kids (and when I say our I mean my own) are now programmed to think everything should be available to them at the drop of a hat. They are definitely products of the 21st century. Technology has done this to them, but in all actuality I have done this to them. I have to take full responsibility for letting the technology seep into every ounce of our being. We seem to exist for this stuff, and that is horrible to admit.

A familiar preschool TV jingle pops into my head as I type this, "On Demand. Or on TV. Day or night, and online too. Sprout is always here...for you." Wow, that is a little sad don't you think? Should toddler TV really be available 24/7? I remember growing up if you didn't catch your kiddie TV before eight or nine in the morning you were darn near out of luck. Wow, what ever did we do without 24/7 access? We played outside or used our imagination, of course. Well, either that or we got in a few extra TV minutes by watching Price is Right.

You know, I actually tried to get my kids to watch Price is Right with me the other day in memory of the good-ole days....we got through one pricing game before it was, "Mommy this is boring. I want to watch Dora." Wow, it made me really sad. I could watch it straight through to the showcase showdown and still be begging for more when the hour was up. But, long gone are the days of finding satisfaction in a show like that. Not with the vast choices of today. With the push of your remote, click of the mouse, or touch of the iPhone you are now plugged in to kiddie entertainment mega land.

I'm not saying these technologies are a bad thing. Quite the opposite. But, too much of a good thing is a bad thing. And, the overuse that I am seeing in my own family is weighing heavy on my mind as I type this at midnight. I am scared that the, 'I want it, and I want it now!' attitude will shift from technology into a larger more worrisome scale in the future. If my children use that philosophy in every aspect of their lives we will surely have issues...large obnoxious issues...and even larger credit card bills at that. Furthermore, these are issues that will surely corrode their minds, hearts, and souls.

I want to make change, and what better time than now? I want to get TV, computer, and iPhone time down to 1 hr a day max. You think I can do it? Well, I am sure it won't be easy, but I am willing to try for the sake of my kids. I want to replace all that freed up time with more books, imagination, fresh air, and sunshine. I hope I can do it. I want to! Oh and by the way when I say I, I really mean we. No way could I do all this alone. But, since I am typing these thoughts as my hubby snoozes I haven't had time to go over this new revelation with him. So until that point I don't feel right changing the I's to We's :)

BTW...Sorry for the long, long rant. This is how I get things off my mind.

Staying Home Vs. Going to Work

Okay so the whole staying home vs. going to work debate has come back up in my head lately. I guess I am just starting to get stressed out again cause Addie is going through one of those difficult stages...the one where she wants me to hold her all the time and also where she is getting into anything and everything she doesn't need (her best friends are all the health & beauty care products she can reach.) I guess in the four years I have been home I have yet to find the right balance of spending quality time with the kids, cleaning the house, me time, and relationship time. Some days I look at the girls at the end of the day and it is hard to remember anything we really did together all day. Even though we are together all day, everyday, I feel like I fail to spend enough time making good memories with them. I am definitely not the type of stay-at-home mom I dreamed I would be...the kind who always had dinner on the table, a spotless house, the kids a lined up social calendar, and who did fun, learning activities with the kids...Okay, who am I kidding there are not enough hours in the day...but I guess I still feel like this is who I should be and I beat myself up on the inside when days go by where we do none of these things. Sometimes I feel like the girls would be better suited in a good daycare where they could be constantly busy. I know I get lonely sometimes, and I work better on a set schedule that comes from working outside the home. It might sound silly, but in some ways I think I would get alot more done at home and spend alot more quality time with the kids if I worked...When I have all day to get things done I procrastinate, but if I know 40 hrs of my week are at work I am more likely to kick it into high gear and get more done. This is just how my brain has always worked...the more external demands there are on me the more productive I am. I don't think enough has been demanded or expected of me lately and I have failed to step up on my own. I just want what is best for the kids, and I have always thought I was doing the right thing for us by staying home...I guess I just second guess sometimes. I read something somewhere the other day about deciding the kind of person you want to be and then making baby steps towards that goal everyday. Then someday you will wake up and be the person you have always aspired to be. This is my new goal...baby steps. When I try to do it all at once I fail terribly. Okay this is a bunch of jibber jabber I know...probably doesn't make much sense...but I feel a little better.

Summer could be a little miserable...

Thanks to the fact that Ella is obsessively afraid of the wind. UGH!!! Tried to go outside today and like usual she screamed and cried about all her stuff going to blow away the whole time. I tried to trick her by telling her that it was either stay out and play or go in and nap...to my surprise she screamed, "I want to go to bed!" So guess where she is now. It always sucks when my attempts to trick her into doing something by giving an undesirable alternative backfires. You know it was so nice out today and Addie loves playing outside and I want sun on these pasty legs, but instead of leisure time I have to listen to whining and complaining. It is just not normal to have to force a 3 year-old kid to go outside and stay outside. She has been like this on every attempt to go to the park or just in the yard. But, for some reason when daddy gets home she is usually willing to go out with him and ride bike..go figure. This is definitely a real fear, but I just don't know how to convince her she is not going to blow away like her balloon did last summer...that is how all this started. She even throws herself over the grocery or Target bags in the cart when we are in the parking lot. She screams and cries about how they are going to blow away until they are safely shut in the trunk. Payback for what I did to my mom as a weird child is a real you know what.